Evening dogs

[duriechstsogut]

In the proboard rules it states that I am forbidden to post any material that is "false, defamatory, inaccurate, abusive, vulgar, hateful, obscene, profane, sexually oriented, threatening, invasive of a person's privacy, or otherwise in violation of ANY law"

Forbidden. I love that word.
Right.
Let's take those one at a time.

False – Marcus’ haircut is modern and stylish, Ciaran isn’t scared of Steve Whale and Andy is a gentleman.

Defamatory – According to one definition, defamation “exposes or subjects you to hatred, contempt, ridicule, or disgrace, or causes you to be shunned or avoided, or injures you in your occupation”. You don’t really need my help there do you.

Inaccurate – Dave washes his trousers on a regular basis.

Abusive – You’re all really dreadful and your girlfriends are unfulfilled and alienated.

Vulgar – C*NT.

Hateful - Death to false metal!

Obscene – Mariah Carey.

Profane – There’s nothing wrong with Profanity. Check out the website: www.profanity.de/

Sexually oriented – C0ck.

Threatening – I’ve dropped bigger people than you just to get to a fight.

Invasive of a person's privacy – Dave once paid half his wages to be stripped, humiliated and thrashed senseless (among other things) by a jackbooted, tattooed dominatrix in an Amsterdam S&M dungeon.
No, hang on. That was me.

In violation of ANY law – God isn’t great.
Not sure of the specifics, but I’m pretty sure I just broke a law in the eyes of several crackpot regimes who have yet to be bombed stupid by the US. (The irony)

Thanks. I feel better for that.
Matt.

[Dirty Bristow]

You're more than welcome.

Let the flood-gates be opened!

As moderator, I should ban you from the site, but since punks & rockers are fair-game for all kinds of abuse I don't think any member of the band should be exempt from posts of this nature.

More please!

[bish]

How did you manage to single out my hair style as not fashionable.Have you seen want some australians nightmare has done to Nailbag and charged good wedge for?
Who's' going to the Ordinary Boys on Sunday, that reminds me where do apostrohies go anyone got a rule and Nailbag you owe me twelve and half bar.
MODderate,PUNKtuate which is it to be.

BISH.

[Dirty Bristow]

Bish, you terrible cunt! You're doing this to annoy me aren't you? Never mind where do apostrophes go; what about the bloody question mark? And before you launch in, I know you don't like to be called Mark, and that wasn't directed at you.

He never paid for that haircut did he?

To answer the question, I am and so's Chip.

[toe]

mucous, i think u can put apostrophe's n e where u like cos it do'esnt really matter at the end of the day punctuations a waste of time u should just write wot u want and let other people worry about wot it means lol!!!!!!111!!!

[fcdmistress]

How do you not know how to use apostrophes young man? Here are a few tips.....

Use an apostrophe to form the plural of a number, letter, sign, or word used as a word. Example: Check to see that you used the +'s and -'s correctly.

If a singular noun has more than one syllable and ends in -s it is acceptable to use 's OR to use only an apostrophe after the -s. (It is important to remain consistent.)
Example: The metropolis's citizens were very friendly during our visit.
Acceptable: The metropolis' citizens were very friendly during our visit.

To form the possessive of a singular proper noun ending in -s, it is acceptable to add 's OR to add only an apostrophe. (It is important to remain consistent.)
Example: Mr. Ness's classroom is very inviting.
Acceptable: Mr. Ness' classroom is very inviting.


OK….. LET'S MAKE THIS A LITTLE LESS BORING……

Use an apostrophe in a contraction to show where letters have been omitted, or left out.
Example: I can’t fix my vibrator.

Use an apostrophe when you leave out the first two numbers of a year.
Example: I bought my first whip in ’92.

For a singular noun that does not end in -s, add 's.
Example: The vicar’s mistress had cum stains on the collar of her blouse as she left the church last Sunday.

For a one syllable singular noun that ends in possessive.
Example: It’s Nailbag’s birthday, it must be his round!

If a plural noun ends in -s, add an apostrophe after the -s.
Example: The ladies' restroom is not the appropriate place for a shag.

If a plural noun does not end with an -s, form the possessive by using an apostrophe before an -s.
Example: The man’s second head thinks that it has brains.

For a compound noun, place the possessive ending after the last word.
Example: My sister-in-law's love eggs were her favourite toy whilst she shopped. (singular)
Example: My sisters-in-law's love eggs got tangled when they embarked on a mudfight. (plural)

To show possession of the same object by more than one noun, only make the last noun in the series possessive.
Example: I'm looking for Mrs. Garcia, Mrs. Lee, and Miss Carter's dungeon. (They all share the same dungeon.)
Example: I'm looking for Mrs. Garcia's, Mrs. Lee's, and Miss Carter's dungeons. (Each person has her own dungeon.)


I do hope that helps. For more tips please call at the dungeon, but please be warned, you pay extra for this type of tutoring.

[duriechstsogut]

Excellent post mistress.
All this talk of love eggs, mudfights and dungeons has me quite... ahem... invigorated.
Nurse! The screens.

Matt.

P.S. What was it you said about apostrophes again?